The excerpt shown above introduces one useful way of viewing the Self and its part in our personal self-leadership and is drawn from the Internal Family Systems.  It is one of several unique ways of looking at the inner experience of self-leadership.  The first time I contemplated self-leadership was when I was taking a course in college called The Principles of Leadership. It dawned on me then that these principles could be applied to leading myself.  Priarily, they were appealing to my own inner need of self-discipline, and indeed, more simply to just leading myself. Later, I discovered there were an assortment of movements within psychology putting together principles of Self-leadership. But there is plenty to be gained by also simply revisiting the principles of leadership from that college textbook and drawing from them some unique and valuable principles of leading others to help in our own self leading. Who doesn't want to be the leader? Who doesn't want to be their own leader? All you need is to be honest with yourself, apply yourself to leading, listen to yourself, and then honor what you hear.  Lead out, and then follow after. I have to admit that it sounds a little corny at first mention, but it bears itself out.

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          To seek change toward freedom from old bad habits and conquering things we’ve been unfairly dealt in this life is a common desire in this life, but this is difficult to face all by ourself.  We are social animals and we like to have company on a tough journey - even to a dream destination of healing. We covet a partner, an ally, or better yet a leader. Surely, that woud be nice. But in the meantime this “new you” whom you desire after, convenienty, is already present within you and always has been, it is just a little battle worn and torn. It is the original you; that small child not yet anxious, sad, ignored, dismissed, used, abused, criticized, traumatized or compromised, who grew up. That small child who in the beginning was meant to become the present, healthy you is still there ready for that chance. Now we endeavor to rediscover and reclaim her/him. She's there; the original tidy package. The “self” each one of us was born as. The one we were meant to grow into. The one whom a difficult life crumpled-up and perhaps kicked to the curb. That’s the one we are looking for, and that’s where only you can lead the way. But you may never go if you have to go alone. You shouldn't. We are not meant to be alone. However, you must first do thing, alone.  You must first, decide who you are, and then, accept yourself just as you are.  It was Carl Rogers who said, “Just when I accept myself just as I am, that’s when I’m able to change”. You've decided to change, to heal. So you must get your feet under you now and reckon with where you are and know that there is no better place to begin. Lead the way with other wise souls being your guides. One of the main tenets of leadership is that "A good leader will also be a good follower". Carl Rogers discovered that bit of wisdom from others along his way. Find a good trail mate in a partner, ally, coach, counselor, or therapist and lead out. Since you know yourself best - you are the expert on you - then you can best equip yourself with a few handy principles of self-leadership.

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          You did not chose your physiology, your emotions that you were given, the capacities of your brain, nor the circumstances you were born into, the terms of your upbringing, nor the programs formed in your brain from the people and things around you. They were all  chosen for you. But now you can chose. And, with a faithful witness to walk with you as you become more aware of those things, you can switch to a more compassionate posture toward yourself, depathologize and side-step perhaps self-criticism, blame, and bad habits and redesign an authentic you. The God-given you. The one still there from the beginning patiently waiting to be given the space to finally grow.  It's a matter now of finding a partner whom will faithfully walk with you for support and encouragement without judgement or condemnation. Someone who will help steady and reassure you as you follow the path from self-awareness to self-compassion, self-restoration and healing. You will largely lead the way, pulling your own strings with the guidance of a wise community.

 

          In the spirit of personal accountability and responsibility I found there are many jewels of self-leadership to be mined from rules of Leadership.  If you think it may be helpful to you, then feel free to read on and consider a few of these.

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          Leadership is "one of the most observed and least understood phenomena on earth".

 

          Here we go.

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          Your soul is the whole of who you are. You are the CEO (no really) and in control of soul central. In our brains the executive control center (prefrontal cortex) has the same leadership function over our mind and body as the CEO of a large corporation.  It is how we exert self-control and self-leadership.

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          Sidenote - Maybe you are concerned that you don't have the right personality type to be a good leader? That may be an unnecessary concern, because a high degree of each one of the personality dimensions is associated with successful leadership.

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          A leader's attitudes toward her followers influences how she relates to people. That touches on two things. The importance of (1) Your assumptions about other people, and (2) Your attitude toward yourself (i.e., values and beliefs). Your assumptions about other people in general will also affect the expectations you have for yourself. Don't let any of them get in your way. Assumptions can be dangerous, because people tend to accept them as "truth". Assumptions are where you came from, though, not necessarily where you are going. Perhaps they even helped stall-out your personal growth in the first place. One of the greatest factors in determining a leader's success is his or her ability to change or expand their mental model - their worldview (their assumptions). The objective is not to simply abandon or change all of your assumptions, but rather to simply and politely test them. Challenge them to reveal and clarify themselves. Question your beliefs, assumptions, and perceptions in order to cull out the misconceptions and deceptions you may have accumulated. In particular, questioning one's religious beliefs following wise principles can lead one to a much deeper joy and knowledge of the Lord in her every day experience. Faulty assumptions and toxic attitudes, conscious or not, can influence emotions and actions. They can scuttle things. Test them and be rid of the ones keeping you from moving forward.

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           Overly biased assumptions about other people (or human nature in general) - ideas and feelings about what motivates people, whether people are basically honest or trustworthy, or even the extent to which people can grow and change (if they so desire) can affect how you measure yourself or others.  a skewed assumption may be an unnecessary obstacle to your health and growth. Lead on and away from those things. Be careful of your worldview having been discolored by the small group of people you may have hung around with or have had contact with. Find a wise community and test your worldview. Keep the stuff that passes the test.

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          Next, a good leader collaborates with others to benefit from experiences that he may never have had. This is invaluable. Although, the humility required is not always easy to muster. A good leader will admit to himself that he does not know it all. This better enables him to learn. She can capitalize on others already learned experiences. This speeds up the learning process. Learning in this way translates into personal growth and satisfaction. You may never have experienced a group of people ready to share their learned experiences with others because they care, and know it was others who first cared and helped them. There are many small and large wise communities of people out there sometimes where you least expect to find them. Be patient. They are there.

 

          When our actions don't match our words the leader has to step forward and honor himself by choosing which result he is willing to attach to his personal identity.  His sense of self. This process is                        (unfinished)